Tendinitis
Some of you know that I have a little problem called tendinitis. I've been told that I have both "golfer's elbow" and "tennis elbow", which is to say, the tendons on the top and bottom sides of my upper forearm are wacked. I've been given two solutions, by two different sports medicine people:
1) "Build fortresses on your arms." Meaning: lift weights and build strong shoulder muscles, because the rest of the arms depend on strong shoulders. The other problems will soon go away.
2) "You need to constantly massage your arms." Meaning: hire an Asian woman with some strong hands.
Well, I say all this to say that I probably shouldn't be typing any more today. My tendinitis is flaring up. I'll probably try and rub them out tonight, and probably pop some pills, too, to try and pull the swelling down. Toodles.
The Challenge
I think we all have had someone whom we highly respect challenge us to do something. For me, I often come back to a single challenge that was made to me when I was a freshman in college. I was asked, "Are you a songwriter?" I answered, "Yes, of course." My professor replied, "Do you write every day?" I responded, "No." He looked at me funny, paused, and finally made a statement similar to this one:
"If you're a songwriter, you should be writing music every day - no exceptions. If you're a songwriter, making music would be as important to you as breath, as food, as life. You would *have* to do it, just like you *have* to breathe."
I thought about what he said for a minute, and I responded with less clarity than I now state:
"I *am* a songwriter, and I *should* write more than I do. It's difficult to write a song, and it's more difficult to write *every* day. And just because something is difficult for you to do doesn't mean that you're not meant to do it. In fact, I'd say that anybody who is any good at anything works hard to get that way."
Why Rob Miller is Right
Good afternoon, my name is Jay Mathes. I'm an indie songwriter - singer/guitarist/pianist, to be a bit more specific. I've been writing music since I was 13 years old, playing music since I was 10, and listening to my mom play covers of Jim Croce, Gordon Lightfoot, James Taylor, and John Denver on the guitar for as long as I can remember.
There are few things more exciting to me in the world than a great song. They are rare grains in a sea of musical chaff - a world where everyone has access to GarageBand and thinks he can be the next American Idol.
Rob Miller, of Bloodshot Records, recently wrote an article for knowthemusicbiz.com (republished here: http://www.chicagoartistsresource.org/music/node/17404) about what indie labels look for before signing a band. I couldn't be happier to hear from his own lips that it's really, really, really simple: 1) you have to be serious - career serious, and 2) you're music has to be great.
The label has to be able to stand behind your record 100%. They'll never fight for it like you will, but if they love it, they'll give it everything they can. Plus, if they weren't behind it 100%, they would not be living true to their own convictions - which is the only reason that indie music succeeds in the first place!
You DO NOT want a label that is not behind you every step of the way, so don't pursue a deal with a label that doesn't know where you stand or where you're coming from. Again, all of this is pretty much just regurgitating what Rob said, but he's right. Don't waste your time sending your music to labels that aren't a GREAT fit for you. Do your research.
Back to the first point, you need to honestly evaluate why you're pursuing music, a label deal, songwriting, etc. Is it about the chicks, the fame, the money, the booze? Is it a hobby? Is it something else? Are you willing to bleed for your music? For me, it's simple, and again on this point, I line up with Rob:
Who am I? I am a songwriter. What does that mean? It means that I can't help but write. I can't help but compose. I can't help but hum new melodies in the car or on the El. It's who I am. It's who I was born to be. It's what I'll do until the day that I die, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that.
I couldn't agree with all of Rob's remarks more, and I am anxious about the release of my new record, Glimmer. I'm putting more time, more sweat, more passion into this record than anything else I've done before in my life. And I expect it to pay off.
The Basic Human Struggle
I am learning more and more each day about a particular, and pervasive, universal, human experience: the struggle to do what is right - when it is situationally difficult or just "internally", emotionally, willfully difficult.
Sometimes we face external pressures to do the wrong thing. Most of the time, this is caused by our peers. Sometimes known consequences of doing what's right inhibit us from acting in accordance with our consciences. Though still not acceptable, actions contrary to what is "right" in these cases is atleast understandable. We can relate - or at least put ourselves in the others' shoes.
But other times, we face pressures from within: our wills are strong and, often, stubborn. We often do what's wrong just because the immediate result is a "good feeling". Lying to your parents is easier than telling the truth, in the short-term, because the consequences for what you did wrong are delayed. Fessing up means taking a hit right away - sometimes literally!
But I think for most of us (especially me), we have an obstructed view of the *real* consequences of our behavior. Often times, the punishment for what we do isn't as immediate and visible as we're used to. Some wrongful actions won't reveal their consequences until years later. Other behavior, words or thoughts, deeds or deeds left undone, don't seem to have any apparent effects at all.
Here's something to chew on: nothing in life is free. I don't know if I've ever heard this life motto applied "backwards" to describe that every negative action has a negative consequence. You pay for your choices in life by accepting the repercussions they cause. I do some pretty stupid things sometimes, and I really do wonder if they'll ever catch up to me, or if I will continue to receive "grace upon grace".
Tuesdays, Fridays are for Recording
Well, last week, I sat down and figured out how much recording time I'm going to need to complete the new album, "Glimmer". I figured around 180 hours for 10 songs, which covers tracking, initial mixing, and working with mixing and mastering engineers. A daunting task, but certainly manageable.
In working towards my goal of release the album in the Spring, I have set aside two, full days each week to record. It was a necessary designation. This past Tuesday (yesterday) was my first, big recording day, and I couldn't be happier with the results! I tracked guitars and bass for my song "Wine and Rose", after Jameson Cunningham layed down drum tracks last month. The song is going to be raw, catchy, and full of energy. Still more guitars to track, though.
Also, there have been a few other major changes on the home front for me: I've asked a good friend of mine and fellow songwriter, Gary Stanton, to co-produce with me on Glimmer. He has great ears, and I'm looking forward to sitting down with him to analyze and tear apart every, single song.
And another big change: I'm still in process on this, but I've begun a search for a side-kick - someone who can help me with booking and promotion, and someone who is as passionate about my music as I am. After reaching out to a friend of mine who works for Warner Bros. Records in Chicago, I think I may have found my (wo-) man. Stay tuned.
The Greatest Guitarist of Our Generation
I just spent this past weekend listening to John Mayer's new, live album, "Where the Light is", and I am convinced that he is, and will be known as, the quintessential guitarist and songwriter of our age. His lyrics are well crafted and clever, his guitar versatility and command is unmatched, and his live performances demonstrate his increasing control over his voice and his mastery of melody.
When I watch Mayer play (I got the live DVD, too, for my birthday), I'm not inspired to just hone one aspect of my musical "game". I'm left in awe of the depth of his expression - lyrically, melodically, and altogether musically. I don't want to be John Mayer; but man this dude has some serious skills.
In the past six years, no single artist's music has pushed me as hard as John's has - to strive to write a better song than the last, to improve my live performances, and to capture the essence of a song on a great record.
Why I Love the Cubs
I've been a Cubs fan all my life. I've been a baseball fan all my life. Never any other sport, really, though there have been teams (in addition to the Cubs) that I've respected, admired, and cheered for. The White Sox, The LA Dodgers, and, more recently, the Red Sox have all been on my "cheer list". Of course, I have always loved the history of the Yankees... (I didn't want to say "Red Sox" and "Yankees" in the same sentence.)
Just as an additional caveat, over the last five or six years, I've started to pay more attention to college football and basketball. Both my brother and sister go/went to the University of Illinois in Champaign, which is probably a major part of the cause...
So why baseball, and why the Cubs?
I think it's pretty simple, don't you? My dad grew up on the North Side. Not figuratively, not almost Chicago, but actually within a mile of Wrigley Field. He grew up in the neighborhood, went to grade school, went to Amundsen High, and went to college at Loyola University.
I grew up playing baseball in the Chicago suburb of Lombard, and I remember the 1988 Dodgers. They and the Cubs were my two, favorite teams at the time. I can't even count the number of games I've gone to, including seeing every California team play at all but one of their stadiums on a trip to Cali, when I was young. The Cubs (and baseball) are a family tradition.
Every month or so we'd drive into the city to visit my grandma in the house where my dad grew up. I loved (and love) the skyline - especially the view driving southbound on the Kennedy.
When it came time for me to pick a college, I decided to stay local. In fact, after talking with my dad and my grandma, they thought it would work out all right for me to stay in one of Oma's four-flat apartments at 1619 W. Balmoral Ave. That started my sophomore year at Columbia College, after a year of pseudo-commuting and crashing in the basement of my grandma's place.
For three solid years, I passed by Wrigley Field two-times a day on the El, at the Addison stop. There were days (including the playoffs in 2003) where, on my way home, I'd hop off the train during games and just watch them from the El platform. You can't see much, but you can see the digital scoreboard on the left field upper deck, the pitcher, and home plate.
And so tonight begins the playoffs. Many people have been waiting a very long time for this. The Cubs have a very tough road ahead of them. They should be able to squeak by the Dodgers and the Phillies or Brewers, but look out for those Angel's, whose 100-win season gives them the best record in the league.
Onward and upward.
Always Recovering, Never Recovered
After a week on the road, and a week home, "recovering", (sorry for the delay in posts. I've been seriously crazy busy with working through details for an upcoming show and a trip to California - where I now am) I've discovered something:
The life of a touring songwriter is one of continuous recovery, yet without ever fully recovering. The word "recovery" brings with it this idea of "getting back to full strength" or even "settling in to regular, normal life again." Both of these ideas are two which can be creativity and motivation killers.
If you're comfortable (a state to which humans tend to gravitate towards), you're disinterested in change. If you're disinterested in change, you will never dream. And one can't pursue dreams that don't exist.
Many of you know that I'm a dreamer. But I can tell you that my dreams have never felt as alive as they have these past two weeks. It's a feeling I never again want to lose, and I hope it sets the trajectory for my life for many years to come. I never want to be comfortable. I never want to settle. I never want to recover.
Let me strive. Let me press on. Let me be thankful for being given these opportunities - experiences and successes I don't deserve. Let me be alive. Let me try and fail, and try again. Let me continue to learn how to love. Let me long for better days, but let me enjoy these moments today.
Yes, It's 2:30 AM
Yes, it's 2:30 AM. And yes, I will be up for atleast another half hour. And yes, I will be in a car by 7 AM to drive to New Have, CT, where I have to be by tomorrow (today), early evening. Right now, I'm at my Aunt Simona's house, in Cleveland Heights, OH. I had a great time tonight, hanging out with her and her husband, David, along with a bunch of their friends. We watched an okay new episode of SNL and played Taboo.
Thanks to everyone who bought merch at my Borders show! You all made my night! You rock!
Time to shower. Then bed. Tomorrow, expect lots of coffee.
New Tour Vlog and Pics Up! Day 2
Packing
Many of you know that tomorrow I embark on my first-ever tour. It's not long - only seven performances in six days, including travel. But it's still really exciting. I get to start it all off by playing at one of my favorite places on earth: The University of Illinois, Champaign, IL. Tonight I told my parents, who are this day celebrating their 31st anniversary, that "it took me ten years [to go on the road], but I'm finally doing it." Thank you. Everyone.
Well, it's back to wrapping things up. And packing. Yeah. Lot's still to do. And I'm way behind.
I Am Not Bitter, Am I?
I'm Not Bitter, am I?
I posed a question to a friend of mine the other day: how do I come across to you, emotionally speaking? The response: well, honestly, a little bitter. Wow. His answer just hit me like a pillow case filled with sand to the face. I was floored. I couldn't believe it. But then I thought about it; and I realized, it was the truth.
For one reason or another, I guess I have been bitter lately - or, some would say, for a long time. And though close friends have said it in the past, I never really believed it. A while back, one friend went so far as to say that he thought I would have more friends if I wasn't so depressingly negative about everything.
So the question becomes "why?" And after thinking about this issue for a few days, I may have the answer: I think I deserve more than I've been given. I think I'm entitled to greater musical success, greater wealth, greater joy, greater whatever than everyone else.
I think one remedy to this problem of pride is simply reminding myself of who I actually am: a flawed creature, who sometimes (even often) wants to do good but either doesn't or doesn't know how to. Willful omissions leave rights undone.
And so I will do well to remember who I am, what I have been forgiven, and how I have been blessed by the things that I *do* have, knowing that I have been given all that I need.